Me? A “runner?!”
Me?! A marathon runner?!!
OMGGGGGG!!!!! I finished a marathon last week and it has made me reflect a LOT, as it meant and brought up so much more than I imagined.
Want the less-messy, more motivational poster version: Here’s a few of the lessons I (re)learned that may help you.
Want the real, (trigger warning) honest stuff….. Continue on after the list
Give yourself some grace
Celebrate the little milestones
F**K stereotypes as limitations- you don’t have to look like a classic “____-er” to be one (insert any person/role there ie runner, triathlete, person with eating disorder, genius, etc)
If fat (not used derogatively), slow AF, ADHD, undertrained me can go from barely ever running to finishing a marathon in 6 months, you can finish your goal.
Start slow, stay steady to finish strong
You are not alone but you alone can do the work. You need support & encouragement, but no one but you can make those 40,000+ steps
Since you’re the only one who can do it, don’t worry what others think. You gotta be humble to succeed: you’ll feel dumb, not be able to keep up with the crowd, make mistakes, look funny, etc, but what counts is you, in your specific experience at the time, finish the best you can.
Yep you, we all, look a funny: laugh a little at the insanity you have to have to get the goal vs the insanity of not trying
Plan well, but Stop catastrophizing. Seriously…. It won’t be THAT bad, you WON’T (likely) even die ;)
You still here? Ok Cool.
Full version: Here’s my personal journey to explain why finishing a marathon meant so much more than bragging rights, and taught me way more than how to avoid runner’s diarrhea.
Trigger warning: eating disorder and abuse
Last week I finished a marathon, running across the finish line.
This was a HUGE accomplishment that had a lot of emotions tied to it, as I have a long, very complicated history with exercise and food as fuel.
I've always done some sports/dance since I was very little, but started running during my eating disorder in college. I said one day I would do a marathon like my mom (ultramarathon-er), as that would prove I was a strong person, but I couldn't visualize it or believe it, just a theoretical life goal. I swang from one ED to another through sexual assault, domestic violence etc. I went from very underweight to gaining it quickly. I gave up on running since I didn't think I was a real runner anymore, I didn't "look" like one, but tried triathlons and liked them. I would go months or years of not running, to trying again, then making myself stop from the imposter syndrome.
This year I took all the guilt and image away and just said my body deserved any movement outside every day since I was self-isolating working from home all day from a new country I knew no one. I had to at least walk 1km, even if just for shopping or seeing the new neighborhood. Once I was out, I'd do more, and love it. And not put a label on it or all or nothing goals.
I got a last-minute opportunity to come to AZ to see my partner and learned I could **attempt* to complete a marathon here in the sunny Arizona winter (back in Holland between cut off times and hypothermia risks, I had expected it would be a few more years of training before I could try)
So with less than a month prep, at my slowest race pace, I ran across the finish line with strangers cheering me on. It was a whole humorous journey of a late start, many bathroom stops, eating oreos, kicking a soccer ball with kids, a lot of walking, some running, cute cacti, lots of positive energy, and of course, pain.
What I learned (in addition to the list:
a) I don't have to "look" like a traditional "runner" or do a "Sub-4" (under 4 hrs finish) to be a runner who completed a marathon. I just have to find my way to get from point a to point b 26.2 miles later.
b) People will cheer you on even if you aren't that fast, skinny runner. They are inspired you said, f**k it, and just put one foot in front of the other for ~40,000+ steps.
c) Plan and be humble - the slower I went at the beginning, as embarrassing as it was, and the more I stopped, ate, drank water, the higher my success was. In the second half, I ran past many people who had pushed hard but not planned for the long haul and couldn't finish/finished way after me
d) I’ll get there when I get there. FRT. Since I am pacing myself, I’ll never win the first or the quickest, but that’s fine by me. I’ll enjoy the finish better having enjoyed the journey.
e)I need to have bigger dreams and visualize myself there, because I am still in denial that I finished a marathon because I thought it was so out of reach. So now that I did, and I know I could totally do more, what is my next goal/omg if I could just do that in my lifetime goal?
Oof, so many more things I learned but this is getting long and I’ll be tempted to just keep re-thinking and rewriting it.